Thursday, November 27, 2008
What had I hope for......
Happiness. That's all. But.... maybe.... just maybe... dat is too much to ask for....

I had lost my beloved grandma. I knew I am losing him when he left and now, abang is sick. God knows when his time will come.

I can't take it any longer. People thot dat I am fine. 'You are very strong' is what they always said. God knows what happen behind these doors, behind these laughters. Everytime I listen to anybody who found their happiness or anybody who suffer a setback, I could just cry. Not in front of them but inside my heart.

I am hurting. I can't deny that fact. People might say that it is not worth it but I still cry. Just let me cry for these moment for I will know that one day, all these will stop.

Allah, please dun take abang away. I can't be dealt with another blow. I am weak enuf and I pray for u to give me strength. Amin
posted by Titiks @ 10:09 PM |
Monday, November 17, 2008
What do I feel like doing now? I dun feel like working. I dun feel like sleeping. I dun feel like talking nor do I feel like shopping. I kept making mistakes at work and maybe yes I'm dreaming. How I wish I am somewhere faraway from Singapore. Maybe I need a break. Away from everything. But, it is just so expensive to go anywhere now. Haiz.... hopefully money drop from the sky and I could bring my daughter to a faraway land.... How I wish! (Ok ok.... with my parents too.... oklah oklah.... with my siblings too la..... pay urself ok... wakakakkakaakaka)
posted by Titiks @ 5:08 PM |
Saturday, November 15, 2008
He is out for good now. Dun ask me what had happened or if I am ok (I am obviously not). Dun ask me what I am thinking and dun ask me to look at her before I do anything. It is because of her dat I came into this decision. I dun want her to know in the future what he had done or if he had done anything for her.

I am deeply hurt and enough is enough. I let this tears flow freely as I know one day it will stop and I will begin a new life. I dunno how life would be in the future bt insya'allah everything will be fine and happiness is down there waiting for me with or without sumone. For I know, I still have my family and most importantly her who is my life.

Leave me be for I know what I am doing and with my parent's blessings, I know I could overcome this and be a strong woman. For my parents, my siblings and most importantly, my only daughter.......
posted by Titiks @ 9:20 AM |
Friday, November 07, 2008
My beloved cousin whom I called 'abang' since am small; was admitted to the hospital today. I can't concentrate on what my sister said on the phone. My brain only captures the word 'abang' and 'icu'. My mind, my brain, my heart froze. My whole body trembles. I am only waiting to collapse any moment. I had tired myself out mentally and physically. I am the one who is hurting myself due to someone. I am just putting on a brave front. But whoeva sees what's in me, I think they will be shock.

What am I hoping for now? Nothing. Luckily there is my daughter to cheer me up everyday. She is growing up fast. I dun care whether he cares or not. All I care is money coming in until I am stable.

I dunno if I should go to '...........' to ask for advice. I am just finding time to go there and find the person though. The place is so near yet so far.

Meanwhile, I pray hard that abang will recover and out of ICU... I love you abang....more than you realise...... my cousin.......
posted by Titiks @ 3:43 PM |
About Me

Titiks, born on 1st July, gainfully employed in an architech firm. Sometimes happy, sometimes sad but hey, I'm only human!
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