:: The Blood That I Tot Were Tears ::: December 2005

Saturday, December 31, 2005

Love him?

I got to noe somebody from malaysia yesterday... He stays in KL. He'll be coming to Singapore in February... Haiz.. can't wait to see him..He is nice, caring, he tells me wherever he goes.. I dunno if he lied but so far the trust is there.Love him? Yeah... Love is too strong for a word though but the feeling is there. Only saw his photos. Not yet see him in person. But I have this feeling that HE IS THE ONE.... Good luck for me!

posted by Titiks @ 2:30 AM |

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Liars!

I hate people who lied to me! He said he is working but why is he not? I hate people who lied to me especially friends that I held dear in my heart. I hate it! Maybe he doesn't even know abt it. Whatever it is, it is still a fact that he lied!!!

posted by Titiks @ 11:44 PM |

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Pissed but Glad

I am pissed by what my ex said in friendster. He claimed that I'm the one who is making a fool out of him?! Hey! Cummon! He is the one at the first place get somebody's wife pregnant and yes I said SOMEBODY'S WIFE!! That is the number one thing that I am pissed off. Secondly, he pressured me to tell my parents that he wanna marry me. I mean yes marriage is a good thing but he didn't even have a stable job yet! He is just a NS men! And we just know each other. Don't all of u think it is just too rushing? Thirdly, he don't let me wear anything I want. He pressured me yet again to wear head scarf! He dun let me wear short skirts. Not even three-quarter skirts! It's ridiculous! He point a finger at every mistake of mine! And I just keep quiet about it and alas my migraine came back and I collapse. Oh yes... did I mention dat he called me a 'B*T*H?! And he called me that near my office area where almost everybody knows me! He gripped my arms, sprained my wrist and just said 'sorry' days later. He said that my dad is not good at all! So, all of you be the judges, is it my fault that I can't stand him anymore? Is it my fault that I ask for a break up? And I thought he let me go after the 'official' break up; he is still there...tracking my every movement. He don't let me have any friends and when I have a new friend that I add in friendster, he flare up and shout at me! Is that fair to me?!

( And let me tell you this. If he were to read this blog of mine, he will definitely deny everything cause he dun wanna let his family knows what a bad boyfriend he is...)

On the other hand, I am glad he is gone out of my life for good. If not, I wouldn't get to know my good friend now. He is really good to me. He never forget me even when he is having a good time. I am glad to find him who is willing to be a listening ear to all my problems and to share his problems as well. Chris, if you see this, I wanna tell you that you are the best friend that I have..... Love ya my friend!

posted by Titiks @ 10:47 AM |

Friday, December 23, 2005

Restless!!!

I just wanna be alone now. Free from everything that is happening around me. I dun feel like doing anything. I feel restless and I really can't wait to get back to work. I juz feel like sleeping now... Maybe after watching 'Love Concierge', I will sleep... Haiz.............

posted by Titiks @ 8:54 PM |

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

My new friend

I got to know a friend today. He is a nice chap. We feel comfortable with each other and we talk about almost all the things in life. I hope that these friendship of mine with him won't turn out like my any other friendships as I can see for now that he is understanding. I love u my friend from the bottom of my heart. Just dun betray my trust. Never ever...

posted by Titiks @ 9:47 PM |

Monday, December 19, 2005

Wanna be MYSELF

I am so pissed off today!! I can't believe it that at last I had the courage to block and delete him from my msn.. I really can't stand his unreasonable and kiddy behaviour!! Argh!!!!!!! We had broken off so why can't he let me off and let me move on with my life? He is the one who told me that he is moving on with his life and told me to do so BUT when I had done so, he flare up. What does he think he is?! He thought he is the only one that I cared in this whole wide world? Come on! I had my family too! Loving me doesn't justify what he is doing! I had changed too much for him. I had change to a person that I'm not. I had even forgotten who I was! There was once he told me to move on with my life which I had done on the day we broke off. I wear make-up.. dress up and went out with my girlfriend. I feel so free and out of troubles! I love myself and I have confidence! I am not afraid of anything! I love that side of me dat I do not wanna change anything and rite now; from this moment on; I am myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wanna show to him that I am better off without him which is the TRUTH!!! YES! I am going to show the world who I really am... TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT!!!!

posted by Titiks @ 11:47 PM |

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Missing him?

I remembered him suddenly... I do not know why. Miz him? I dun think so. I dun even noe why suddenly he appeared in my mind. He is just a friend from my former schools.. He told me dat he will be there for me thru thick and thin but I think all guys had said the same thing to me. Actually we had lost contact since he got himself a chinese girlfriend. He contact me again only when he broke off with her. It happens on dat day my good friend is leaving Singapore to further his studies and so I'll be lonely here as I dun have a lot of frens. He contacted me at the right time and he whispers sweet nothings to me as though we are in love. I dun deny dat I use to have a huge crush on him in primary school but dats over. At dat fateful year, we go to school together and go back together but only for a few days or less than a week cos when the girl is jealous, she wants him back and there goes my friendship with him. He is so close to me dat I wish the time stopped but it didn't. I missed dat friendships of ours. Whenever I see him now, I dunno whether to hate him or love him... Should I smile or dun even look at him? He had been a part of my life before though. I dun even noe if he is happy now.. I care abt him but I really hate his girlfriend.. Not b'cos she takes him away but b'cos she smirks at me as though she is the winner n had him as the trophy.. I dun even care a damn abt dat as I'm not even his girlfriend at the first place! I dunno what he had told her dat makes her shout aloud one day saying dat,'Hey Zad! U're girlfriend!'.
I was like 'WHAT!!!'. When the hell did I? I was furious but confuse at dat point of time. All my other schoolmates asked me questions dat I can't even find the answers. Until now, I dunno what the hell he said to her... Years passed and I still remember him as a close friend I once had.....

posted by Titiks @ 8:03 PM |

Friday, December 16, 2005

Warded

Was in the hospital for five days... Haiz... Just been confirmed by my new company and now I had to be on long mc... Can't wait to get back to work soon....

posted by Titiks @ 4:30 PM |

About Me

Titiks, born on 1st July, gainfully employed in an architech firm. Sometimes happy, sometimes sad but hey, I'm only human!