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| Saturday, October 28, 2006 |
| Christopher Lee |
Remembering what happen last time makes me feel guilty. Without me realising it, I had disappoint him once. He did told me to wait for him and to trust him but I can't. I did not wait for him nor did I trust him. I move on with my life when we lost contact bearing in mind dat he would not fall in love with a girl like me. How was I suppose to know that he wants to reveal his feelings upon my return. But we lost contact. Heaven make a joke out of us. We are so near but yet so far. We make one big round before we get back to each other. Taking it positively, maybe if heaven did not make this joke, if we had not make one big round in this life, we may not appreciate each other like how we appreciate each other now. I am one damn fool in my love life. I love him then but I do not trust him. But right now, we are honest and trust each other. There maybe doubts but we settle it peacefully. No relationships run smoothly but alhamdullilah... god show us the way. The tears that flows are tears of happiness. I do not want to lead my life in any other way. This is the happiness that I had been finding in my life. He is my happiness. I love him so much and I do not want to lose him. That time when we were still friends, I told myself. I do not want to give him up just like how I did last time. I do not want to repeat the same mistake again. I do not want to live without him in my life. I do not want to lose him again. I believe he is the one for me. I believe my heart. I believe in god and I believe in him. I love u darling...
F, tidak ku sangka ku dapat melupakanmu akhirnya. Perasaan dendam dan benci itu tiada lagi dalam hatiku. Tetapi aku takkan dapat melupakan kata kata kesat mu terhadap ibuku. Aku takkan dapat melupakan betapa kau sakiti hati kami. Akan ku simpan semua itu sebagai satu pengajaran dalam hidupku. Tidak pernah aku berdoa agar kau dibalas serupa di alam perkahwinanmu tapi ternyata Allah maha Besar. Aku kan sentiasa mendoakan kesejahteraanmu dan kebahagiaanmu sebagaimana aku telah berdoa untuk beberapa tahun ini. Apa yang aku kecewa di dalam perhubungan kita dahulu, kenapa aku serahkan segala kepercayaanku dan kenapa aku menghabiskan usia remajaku untuk bersamamu. Mungkin ada hikmah disebalik apa yang terjadi. Cukuplah aku dituduh merampas kekasih orang diawal perhubungan kita dan cukuplah aku dituduh ingin merampas suami orang di akhir perhubungan kita. Kau mengajarku erti percintaan, erti kepalsuan.... akan ku semadikan semua itu hingga ke akhir hayatku. Bahagialah dikau bersama isteri dan anakmu... |
| posted by Titiks @ 12:36 AM | |
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| About Me |
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Titiks, born on 1st July, gainfully employed in an architech firm. Sometimes happy, sometimes sad but hey, I'm only human!
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