Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Thinking
I did a lot of thinking. I have a perfect family, friends, not-so-perfect job but still near to perfect. So, why should I let someone allow me to be unhappy about myself? Allow me to be stress? I dunno wat to do. It is no longer there. I can't feel it anymore. My mind is only filled with my family and work. I dun even have time to think about my frens but still i try my very best to have time for each and every one of them. I am glad that all my frens understand my situations and if all my frens were to read this blog, I would like to thank all of you. All of you are not like the 'frens' that I had in my past life. You are my frens and will always be my frens. All of you realise it that I do treasure these friendships of ours that I can even forgive when you make mistakes and I am really glad all of you never repeat it. I am glad. M, thanks for everything. C, thanks for being there. L, thanks for understanding and P, thanks for juz being my fren. The four of u make my life different from what I had lived. Thanks for everything.
I am stuck in the middle of nowhere. I am suffocated with questions. I am tired. My life is like routined. Go to work, come bk, eat, watch tv, internet. Everyday my life is like dat. I wanna do what I need to do. I need to relax but seems dat I have to choose the people that everyone else have to agree that I can relax with. I have my own life but I can't lead it. Some ppl juz bound not to be happy and I want everyone to be happy but in the end.... I am the one who is sad. At the first place, I dun even wanna meet the family. I am scared of being too close. It's not that I want but it juz happens. Even the ppl that I depend on dun trust me anymore. I cried every nite thinking of this. Everything juz change. Everything juz end. How was I suppose to noe? There is no third party or whatsoever. The calls that kept coming in are from my girlfrens and one of my guyfren but I had been contacting him for months. If I really really wants him.... y should I wait now? I would have done it long ago but I did not. We are just frens. But some ppl juz chose not to believe me! Well... who m I?? A gal who had lied at a very young age. Nobody believes me. Not even one person wants to listen to me. They seems to care but they are juz tired of me talking. I had sticked to my principles. Not to mention anything to anybody. Even if they think I am at fault.... there is nothing I can say. I have no right to be happy. No right at all..........
posted by Titiks @ 1:27 AM |
About Me

Titiks, born on 1st July, gainfully employed in an architech firm. Sometimes happy, sometimes sad but hey, I'm only human!
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